The Best Shape Of Your Life
In preparing for a trip to “Walk” Disney World one must do extensive research. Where to stay, what to ride, when to travel, but most importantly, which shoes to wear.
It’s a universally acknowledged fact that whatever shoe you wear 10+ sweaty hours on asphalt will leave you limping home, so the notion of a “comfortable” shoe is a loose term.
What I cannot figure out for the life of me is, why would one buy a hideous shoe over a stylish one, if the end of the day will find your soles aching either way? Granted you’re talking to someone with a closet full of shoes I can only stand in from the car to the restaurant table, and that’s if I get dropped off at the front door! But surely, in 2015, there must be an attractive alternative to the Birkenstock or the Athletic shoe!
Look, I love a sneaker, I have 4 pair of them and I wear a pair every day… TO THE GYM. But you will not catch me wearing them with anything other than workout attire. (**Occasionally you may catch me in them still by dinnertime if I haven’t made it out of the workout attire, but that’s a topic for another day.) What I’m talking about is the wearing of athletic footwear in non-athletic settings, and I simply do not approve. I see women every day wearing sneakers to go out shopping or for other general activities and I want you all to know that unless there is a Step Aerobics class happening in the center court of the mall, you need to find some more fashionable footwear.
The only tennis shoe for which I will make an exception is the casual coolness of the Converse sneaker. I prefer mine without laces, but the lace-up versions are also acceptable.
After a very trying hour in a local footwear store, I arrived to the startling and unbelievably sad realization that there must be a very large majority of women in America who have replaced the sneaker with the “comfort” sandal.
Aisles, and I mean multiple aisles, were lined with shoes so completely UNFABULOUS that I really thought I might be sick. Look, these are on sale and Buy One Get One ½ Off. They could be giving them away free and serving champagne and I still wouldn’t take them!
I mean, what could have happened in your life to make you just throw in the towel and buy these things? Whatever tragic event must have coincided with the time you broke your mirror, adopted 3 cats, and elasticized all your waistbands.
Finally I spotted a pair of cute-yet-sensible sandals from the Born company, which look to have a few good hours of walking in them. The straps may rub blisters in my heels, but I would rather suffer gaping holes in my feet than be caught dead in a backless walking shoe!
Now I realize some of you are thinking, “Who cares, you’re not going to see anybody you know.”
Um, excuse me, but vanity is not about who I see. Vanity is about who sees me! So if you’re keeping score, so far I cannot: drive a minivan, wear a 1-piece bathing suit, be caught dead in a comfort shoe.
Not to mention, a trip to the Magic Kingdom is one of the most photographed events in your lifetime, so if you think I will be captured looking a hot mess, then you just do not understand the basic principles of Fabulocity.
I shall leave you with these final Words To Live By:
Blisters will heal, but photographs are forever.Share This: