My boyfriend and I are on a "break" right now, though technically we're still together and not seeing other people. We still talk on a regular basis via phone and email, but we're just not allowed to physically hang out. He claims this is so he can concentrate on studying, and he wants to make sure we can be independent from each other. I am trying to be understanding and know that it has nothing to do with me. It's all him and where he is in life right now, so I'm just getting on with things and living my life. I'm giving him plenty of space, so of course he doesn't want me too far away. But little does he know, I'm working him back exactly where I want him. I've decided the more I act aloof, the more he'll want me back. So sad that I have to do this at age 26, but I guess that's what you get when you date younger boys. I guess what I'm asking is, why do we have to play games to get men to act the way we want them to?
Sincerely,
Older and Wiser
Dear Older and Wiser,
Don’t be fooled by age, it's not just younger boys, all Y-chromosomes are genetic mutants, incapable of even the simplest inter-sex conversation that doesn't involve fantasy and lubricant. I'm so sorry to hear that you feel you have to play games, for without a worthy opponent it becomes a bit like eating a fat free cookie - totally unsatisfying and not worth the calories (the cookie, of course, men are delightfully low in fat). It is human nature to want what we can't have and your man will of course be fawning all over you before the week is out. However, you must consider the more important element of what’s best for you, and it can not possibly be tagging along behind someone who doesn’t understand that “time” and “space” are not mutually exclusive — he needs time to study and there is a great deal of time before his test, he needn’t have space from you to comprehend this. Sadly, the Y-chromosome generally lacks the ability to multi-task, which manifests as a ridiculous obsession with being "independent," though if left to its own devices the Y couldn't buy a suit, cook a meal or wash a shirt. You can’t allow yourself to be caught up in the vicious (though short) cycle of the male thought process. Before you know it, you’ll be watching ESPN in between episodes of The Simpsons. I really think X's and Y's should be separated at birth, schooled exactly the same and reintegrated into society when they have mastered the art of communication and personal hygiene. Realizing, we would then be left in a society of all women, lesbianism might be not be so bad if we could then eliminate the NFL. But I digress. The point is, games are played for entertainment, money or cocktails. If you’re not having fun or are spending your own money on drinks, it’s time to roll the dice and move ahead two spaces.
Royally,
