SSW's

There exists a breed of folk whose presence manages to annoy the living crap outta me at a mere glance. This particular species is indigenous to areas like Cape Cod, Hilton Head, or wherever else Connecticut vacations. They are rarely seen in Manhattan, as country clubs with sprawling golf courses are hard to come by in Time's Square.

Yes, the Shoulder-Sweater-Wearers, a band of folks so tightly knit, their shirts can't leave home without matching cardigans. I loath them.

I just encountered one coming out of a Starbucks, disgusting, yet low-calorie flavored tea in her hand, Ralph Lauren shopping bag slung over her shoulder. Her entire outfit coordinated from her size 2 designer jeans, to her pink anchor embroidered flip flops. She was like a walking Land's End catalog, complete with simple ponytail and pearl studs. The three-quarter sleeves on her white oxford shirt trimmed with a small ruffle and complimented with the most unobtrusive taupe sweater tied around her neck.

Now I want to know, who the hell wants anchors on they shoes? Haven't y'all heard of Rainbows, the greatest flip-flop ever invented? You know she paid a hundred dollars for those damn things, and they ain't even leather.

I realize that I have personal issues with folks who tie sweaters around their necks under any circumstances, but seriously, on JUNE 21st?!? The rest of us runnin around in shorts and tee shirts and you're ready for a brisk autumn evening. Even on the off chance that you spend the majority of your day in an overly-airconditioned building, as so rarely happens using a window unit, you won't need cashmere!

Of course she was chatting away on her cell phone about how her credit card had such great benefits, and you only had to spend 20 grand a year! There was no discussion of how that 20 grand gets paid back, but then, I'm sure her bill is paid by her trust fund anyway.

The whole thing was disgusting. Disgusting I tell you! Made me wanna knock her over the head with a stick.

Preferably the one shoved up her ass.