Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Worst Idol Ever

Is this just about the worst season of American Idol EVER? I tell you what, if I didn't have DVR and couldn't fast-forward through half the performances, I'd just quit watchin' altogether! The boys, God love 'em, don't have a shot in hell, and the girls might have a few contenders were it not for the two black powerhouses dominating the competition. I mean Lakisha Jones can just flat sing her fat ass off! It's alright, honey, she a big girl and I'm pretty sure she knows it. However, it remains unclear if she knows how to dress for it.



Mini skirt....probably not the right answer.

And then we have my personal favorite, Ms. Doolittle. Lord knows this girl has got it goin on, but last night's song choice was dull. She sang some nonsense from The Wiz, and as long as we're on The Wizard of Oz adaptations, I'd like to introduce a little ditty...."If I Only Had a Neck." Such a shame when talented folks look like bobble-head dolls.







No one else really bears mentioning, save Mr. Phil Stacey, who I think has a better shot as an actor. Aren't they holding auditions for The Mask 3?
















So, um, about his head...I assume he was loosing it, so he just shaved everything off, which, let's face it, works for very few folks. I don't know the answer for the prematurely bald who also have large sticky-outty ears, but the word Rogaine comes to mind. And bless his heart, there is not a cool bone in his body...not a single one. At least when he gets booted, he can go home and sing lullabies to his daughters, babies can't tell if you're a cornball until well into their third year.

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