A lesson in musical theater

So y'all know I've been watching Grease: You're the One That I Want with probably a little too much enthusiasm, but you have to forgive me. For those of you who don't know, Queenie moved to New York City many moons ago to be on The Broad-way, only to discover that the road to the main stage starts at 6am in a long line outside a dilapidated studio with the world's most annoying class of people...Actors. (If you have a spare 5 minutes, please read my dissertation on Actors and Why I Can't Be One)

All that to say, I have bit of experience when it comes to judging and being judged in the musical theater arena, so the Grease show is right up my alley. I realize it's not quite American Idol, I mean these folks have to actually dance and act too, they don't get to just plop down on a stool and belt their faces off with a light show behind them. I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say that all the contestants in the finals of Grease are 3 times more talented than any Idol contestant, albeit, slightly more annoying.

You see folks, there is nothing so horrific as a musical theater actor overacting; it often takes on a Disney cruise-type quality of the most nauseating degree. For some reason these folks seem to think they have to look happy and surprised at all times, even when singing lyrics about being abandoned or heartbroken...it's rather confusing for the audience when you look excited to have lost the love of your life.

But really the worst offenses on this Grease show are the song selections. Look, I love musicals, even the cheesy ones, hell I listen to the satellite Broadway radio station all the time (when Sweetpotato leaves the house of course), but I just can't abide by pop songs - musical theater style. There's just something so wrong about singing Hound Dog, Footloose, or god forbid, anything currently on the radio like your on stage at the Wintergarden. I wonder how Joan Jett feels about having "I Love Rock & Roll" bastardized into a lyric tune full of vibrato and well, actual notes.

The point is, if you're gonna be a Broadway singer, sing a Broadway song...trust me honey, I have lost enough beauty pageants to know...no one wants to hear a bad rendition of a pop song...there are enough bad bits of musical theater to go around!