Golden Globes 2007

Look y'all, I am so sorry not to immediately criticize, trash and belittle the celebs at last night's Golden Globes but today was a rough one and besides, there wasn't really anyone to write home about. As I have said in the past, television stars tend to behave themselves, lest this is their only time on a red carpet and they're forever shown on the pages of Star Magazine in some postmodern abomination for which their stylist will never be forgiven.

There were, however, some serious Hairtastrophies!!

Now every women knows that immediately following a break up is not the time to make any drastic hair changes. Poor Cameron clearly missed this lesson in relationship rebounding, and some how thought it was a good idea to die her hair black. I'm sure she wanted to make one of those "I am single, hear me roar" kinda statements, but I think she shoulda stuck to the time-honored short-skirt-and-lotsa-cleavage-don't-you-want-me-back look.

And, am I crazy, but was Heidi the tale of the little Swiss girl, or the tale of the marginally talented British chic with unfortunate taste in men? Yeah, Sienna honey, the braid thing ain't for the red carpet, or for anywhere but your audition for Maria Von Trapp.

Can someone please get my girl Reese the memo about bangs? Oh honey, you can't seriously be showin up to the Golden Globes with straight strands and blunt bangs. Hell I gotta flat iron, I coulda done that! You're supposed to look like something at an award show, not like you're grabbin a few things at the Target.

Oh but nothing... NO- THING can explain why on earth the beautiful Vanessa Williams would let someone do that freak Halloween costume thing to her head! I mean, on her t.v. show my girl looks good, and then she's gonna show up on the Red Carpet lookin like the Bride of Frankenstein, it's just not natural. Even I have suffered from post traumatic hair disorder whereby I was unable to communicate my dismay to the hairdresser for fear of speaking lest I might cry, but I was only going to the grocery store, not to flaunt myself in front of 7 million photographers and the waiting eyes of the entire continent! You can't seriously turn around in that hairdresser's chair, see that fro, and think anything other than ... Dear God, MAKE IT STOP!!