If you can believe it..

Oh praise the Lord, I am back in the Big Apple!!! I have never been so happy to step foot on the smelly cement of the City in my life! Of course I have to leave again soon, but every little moment here counts. Y'all just imagine what my trips must be like if New York City seems to be my only bastion of sanity!!

And speaking of sanity and the lack there of....Tom and Katie are Mr. and Mrs. Cruise!! Can y'all even believe that nonsense!! (By the way, I was thinking over the weekend, as I read about the affair on Pink is the New Blog, that y'all probably think I'm awful late on the draw most of the time, and I just wanted to point out that my role here is not necessarily to impart the news upon you, but merely to commentate on the stupidity thereafter.)

That being said, I personally am not convinced it was a legal dealing in the first place, seeing as the laws of Scientology have yet to take hold on a governmental level (thanks be to God). So, you read about the gown and the tux and the castle and the flowers and all that other excessive waste of money, but the real issue for me was the guest list. I mean, am I going crazy, or did Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields just have a very public war over prescription medication? When did they become friends again and why? You know I wouldn't be hauling my cookies across an ocean to watch a brain-washed lunatic and he's mindless bride tie the knot, after he'd called me a weak psychopath!

And you know, I really want to like Will and Jada Smith, but then you see them supporting this unholy union and you think, hell, maybe they be crazy too! Then there's folks like JLo...how the hell do they even know each other? I mean, Tom might not be winning an Academy Award any time soon, but I don't see him starring in any of JLo's C-level films either? I guess Famous folks have some sort of famous folks club and meet backstage at award shows and decide to be BFF's when there are photographers around.

It is not, however, a stretch to understand what Victoria Beckham is doing at the wedding. You can see this girl's issues a mile away. Just look at her outfit...bitch got prob-lems. Check her out on Getty Images.

So all that's left now is to stay tuned for the divorce proceedings, I'm so ready for catastrophe I can hardly stand it!!