Housekeeping 101

You know, when I first starting dating Sweetpotato, I'd go over to his apartment and he'd have a couple candles lit and I thought it was just so romantic that he'd fill the air with evergreen scent to woo me. Fastforward a couple years and I have discovered that the candles were not in fact an attempt at seduction, but more a disguise of the uncleanliness of my surroundings. To Sweetpotato, Pine Scent = Pinesol, hence the smell of Christmas trees is an adequate substitute for scrubbing the floor.

Now let us be perfectly clear on this - I DO NOT enjoy cleaning and were it in my budget I would have a cleaning crew on speed dial, but as I am now happily married under a mountain of debt, I have been reduced to scouring my own toilet. You can imagine that I do not welcome the Saturday-morning scrub, seeing as how Saturdays are meant for laying about, but when I can no longer stand the sight of my bathroom I will indeed pick up a scrub brush (with rubber gloves on of course!)

Any of my former roommates can tell you that I am far from fastidious in my housekeeping, but even my slack sensibilities were horrified to find that my husband's stray so far as to believe that lighting a candle and lifting a rag are comparable cleaning strategies! I listened in horror as he told his entire family how the right candle transformed his apartment from a pigsty to a palace. Oh dear God, what have I done?! I mean, if you're not gonna do something yourself, you should surround yourself with folks who will, and now look I've gone and married a man with less concern than me for the state of our house!

A tragic move on my part ladies, and I tell you all this as a warning - no matter how wonderful your new guy seems, you better just have a peek in his closest cause if shit tumbles out you're gonna have to be the one to pick it up!