More Expert Advice
Now that it's not quite so hot and I can behave like a human being instead of a bitchy lunatic, I am back to helping those in need of relationship advice the world over. Just yesterday I received a letter from a lovely reader overseas who has found herself in a situation I know we have all faced. To sum up: meets boy in Dad's pub (how divinely British!), dates boy briefly, boy doesn't want anything serious, stops dating boy, sees boy again at pub, gets drunk and kisses him goodnight, gets text from boy the next day saying she looked hot.
Her Question: Does he regret the way things went between them?
I feel certain we have all faced some version of this situation, where the boy who so stupidly exited our life stupidly re-enters and has the nerve to compliment us, sending us in to a spiral of what if's.
Queenan's Response:
Oh darling, that is one of the oldest and most worthless tricks in the book! Of course he regrets the way things went, he didn't'’t get to sleep with you and now he barely gets a good night kiss! He got scared of having to be in a real relationship and wanted to keep it loose, but didn't'’t expect you to just totally ditch him. It's not that he wasn't attracted to you, he was just crippled by typical insecurity, a common plight of the Y-chromosome. Now he wants you cause he can't have you (another characteristic of the Y), so you have to decide if he deserves to have you, at least part of you.
Basically, he doesn't want to be exclusive with you, that part hasn'’t changed, but he still wants you in the mix. I of course find that unacceptable, as any woman with a shred of self-esteem would. However, if you wanna play, then he's ripe for the pickin', but don't expect him to be true. If you don'’t wanna be true either, then he's a guy to have fun with, but if you'’ll expect some sort of commitment from him, then don't return his call.
It is fun to tease them though, so next time be a little less drunk, lest you give him more than a kiss, and flirt with him mercilessly before gliding out the door by yourself.
Don'’t be fooled honey, he regrets things alright, but not the right things. If you see him again just make sure to tell him (all together now), "You didn't do well, you have to go."
Royally,
Q
Her Question: Does he regret the way things went between them?
I feel certain we have all faced some version of this situation, where the boy who so stupidly exited our life stupidly re-enters and has the nerve to compliment us, sending us in to a spiral of what if's.
Queenan's Response:
Oh darling, that is one of the oldest and most worthless tricks in the book! Of course he regrets the way things went, he didn't'’t get to sleep with you and now he barely gets a good night kiss! He got scared of having to be in a real relationship and wanted to keep it loose, but didn't'’t expect you to just totally ditch him. It's not that he wasn't attracted to you, he was just crippled by typical insecurity, a common plight of the Y-chromosome. Now he wants you cause he can't have you (another characteristic of the Y), so you have to decide if he deserves to have you, at least part of you.
Basically, he doesn't want to be exclusive with you, that part hasn'’t changed, but he still wants you in the mix. I of course find that unacceptable, as any woman with a shred of self-esteem would. However, if you wanna play, then he's ripe for the pickin', but don't expect him to be true. If you don'’t wanna be true either, then he's a guy to have fun with, but if you'’ll expect some sort of commitment from him, then don't return his call.
It is fun to tease them though, so next time be a little less drunk, lest you give him more than a kiss, and flirt with him mercilessly before gliding out the door by yourself.
Don'’t be fooled honey, he regrets things alright, but not the right things. If you see him again just make sure to tell him (all together now), "You didn't do well, you have to go."
Royally,
Q
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