Update: Tina's Dating (mis)Adventures

Y'all may remember my cousin, Tina, she was the hapless dater who spent cozy hours romancing some idiot at the firing range. (See Acceptable Dating Venues for a recap). Well anyway, she has now stepped away from her paper target and set her sights on a real live guy. While, I was quite ecstatic not to hear the word "handgun" mentioned at all during the conversation, I was quite horrified to hear "best friend's brother." For the love of God Tina, can't you just pick up someone with a mysterious past at a bar like the rest of us? Why on earth would you want to complicate your life by trying to complain about your boyfriend to his own sister?

So now, instead of hanging out at her boyfriend's place until all hours of the night performing acts that aren't mentioned in mixed company, she's sitting around the kitchen table playing Yatzee with his entire family! I just have one word for her...BOUNDARIES!! I mean you got to set them up now or you'll find yourself staring down the barrel of a Duplex in no time. You just can't be getting in the middle of any family drama cause you've got enough of your own, I know, I'm your family. Not to mention, how the hell do you ever expect him to get your pants off with Mom around? It'll be like high school all over again: "watching a movie" in the family room, waiting for the parents to go to bed and holding your breath at every sound. You simply can't enjoy yourself when you're on high alert.

I suppose in the hierarchy of the dating world, an evening with family is higher than an evening at the firing range, but only slightly. However, we are happy for Tina because as of now, he appears to be wonderful and sweet and all that nonsense associated with the early stages of a relationship before they stop concealing bodily functions and forget to aim at the toilet bowl. So, for now, congratulations dearest cousin, but know that we will be keeping an eye on this one and the first week you find you've logged more hours at momma's kitchen table than he has in your bed...he's on the curb!