Corporate Clothing

Alright now look, if I see one more young woman heading off work in an ill-fitting, inappropriate suit I'm just going to scream. I know they're uncomfortable and I am very sorry you have to work in a place that requires such drastically dull attire, but you chose to go into investment banking, so I can't help ya.

And I just wanna say to them, honey, if you're old enough to work in a big ol' Manhattan office, you're old enough to buy clothes that fit. Curve-hugging synthetic suits from Dillards were okay to wear to your high school awards ceremony, but sprayed on pants and flammable jackets are not to be worn in high-rise buildings in the fashion capitol of America. Trends are set here, don't disgrace us by wearing last year's outfit from The Rave. I don't care if you can't afford Chanel, just charge it! Why do you think credit was invented?

Also, has anyone even heard of a tailor? For the love of God, find someone to hem your pants. I don't care if it's your grandma back in Branson, you cannot shuffle down the dirty streets of New York City with your pants in rolls at your ankles. Buying taller heels is no substitute for hemming because you know as well as I do that you will be wearing flipflops on the train all summer and your cuffs will be positively disgusting by the time you arrive at Grand Central.

It's all about home training folks. You know your momma wouldn't let you out of the house in clothes that don't fit and just because you're on your own doesn't mean you get to go out lookin' like a hot mess. Get it together girls, it's hard to climb the corporate ladder when you're tripping over your pants!