Idol OVER!
Oh dear Lord, the finale of American Idol was the most painful thing I've ever seen! I mean, it's a SINGING competition right? Why on earth would they drag the most pitiful "stars" on stage with these contestants? Check out the photo gallery for yourself.
Toni Braxton, God love her, she must be sharing Paula's drugs cause she was just a disaster and I couldn't understand a damn word she sang/growled.
Mary J Blige, well now, y'all know singing is a bit of a stretch for her, yelling is more her comfort zone and yell she did. Only she's not so good at the "duet," I mean she 'bout knocked poor Elliot of the stage with her terrible rendition of the U2 classic "One." Bono must owe somebody big time to let his anthem be slaughtered repeatedly by this hack.
McPhee and Meatloaf...there are no words. Alright, of course there are but they aren't fit to print. If I were her I'da been terrified the way he was stalking around the stage, high on Godknowswhat.
Speaking of Catherine, she's had a rough time of it lately. First they gave her the WORST original song ever written (I heard Nick Lachey teamed up with a former Idol contestant to create this masterpiece...sounds just like the whiney drivel he's always singing, everything rhymed with "destiny"). Then they pitched it way too high for her. Then they stuck her with a coked-up has-been for a duet that didn't even approximate being in any one key. Now you know her momma was Up-Set about that. She didn't raise no mediocre singer, uh-uh, and don't you put her with no tone-deaf buffoon making her look bad. I mean to tell you, it was all Momma McPhee could do not to walk up on that stage and yank that mike right outta Meaty's hand!
Of course the group numbers were about the gayest medleys ever sung. Can you just imagine the American Idol tour? Stab me in the eye!
In the end of course, Taylor Hicks and his crazy-ass Soul Patrol won the title. By that point I was so emotionally drained from all the preceding insanity that I could hardly care.
AHHH! How could I forget to mention Clay?!?! His hair...WTF? I guess after his little Internet incident he just opened those closet doors and ran right on out to his hair-dresser. He seems to have embraced his musical theater roots...look out 42nd Street, I expect to see him on The Broad-way as soon as he can wrench free from his Idol contract!!
Another season comes to a close and we're left listening to the heart-warming ballad, "Do I Make You Proud," for the next 30 weeks...I can hardly contain my excitement.
Toni Braxton, God love her, she must be sharing Paula's drugs cause she was just a disaster and I couldn't understand a damn word she sang/growled.
Mary J Blige, well now, y'all know singing is a bit of a stretch for her, yelling is more her comfort zone and yell she did. Only she's not so good at the "duet," I mean she 'bout knocked poor Elliot of the stage with her terrible rendition of the U2 classic "One." Bono must owe somebody big time to let his anthem be slaughtered repeatedly by this hack.
McPhee and Meatloaf...there are no words. Alright, of course there are but they aren't fit to print. If I were her I'da been terrified the way he was stalking around the stage, high on Godknowswhat.
Speaking of Catherine, she's had a rough time of it lately. First they gave her the WORST original song ever written (I heard Nick Lachey teamed up with a former Idol contestant to create this masterpiece...sounds just like the whiney drivel he's always singing, everything rhymed with "destiny"). Then they pitched it way too high for her. Then they stuck her with a coked-up has-been for a duet that didn't even approximate being in any one key. Now you know her momma was Up-Set about that. She didn't raise no mediocre singer, uh-uh, and don't you put her with no tone-deaf buffoon making her look bad. I mean to tell you, it was all Momma McPhee could do not to walk up on that stage and yank that mike right outta Meaty's hand!
Of course the group numbers were about the gayest medleys ever sung. Can you just imagine the American Idol tour? Stab me in the eye!
In the end of course, Taylor Hicks and his crazy-ass Soul Patrol won the title. By that point I was so emotionally drained from all the preceding insanity that I could hardly care.
AHHH! How could I forget to mention Clay?!?! His hair...WTF? I guess after his little Internet incident he just opened those closet doors and ran right on out to his hair-dresser. He seems to have embraced his musical theater roots...look out 42nd Street, I expect to see him on The Broad-way as soon as he can wrench free from his Idol contract!!
Another season comes to a close and we're left listening to the heart-warming ballad, "Do I Make You Proud," for the next 30 weeks...I can hardly contain my excitement.
1 Comments:
Loved Mary because she's a force, you are dead-on about Toni and Prince was just Prince. I am utterly addicted to that show and was so thrilled to see Elliot back on stage. I hope that boy gets all of his dreams handed to him on a platinum platter.
Brenda Della Casa
lolaspaghetti.blogspot.com
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