Birthdays
I cannot believe the ridiculous way some folks celebrate their birthdays. You know these folks who get up at the butt-crack of dawn to watch the sunrise as they jog along the beach, reflecting on the past year and making plans for their new year upon this earth. They have a nice bowl of fruit before doing some sort of yoga-healthy-stretchy thing.
What a load of CRAP!
Everybody knows birthdays are about cake and presents and makin' everybody treat you like a Queen for a day. Obviously I don't have an issue with being a Queen on my birthday, it's the other 364 days I just can't figure out what to do with myself!
Now today is my birthday, I am Justneveryoumind years old, and do you think I was going for a jog at 6 am...Hell no! Now you know I got up late, cause it's my birthday. I ate a big ol' bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich, cause calories don't count on your birthday (any additional pounds discovered the next morning are purely coincidental). I will not be jogging anywhere, cause birthdays are supposed to be torture-free. I will be eating at least one entire cake, again I refer you to the birthday-calorie rule.
As to the type of cake, you know I rarely discriminate when it comes to dessert, but there are few types of cake which I highly recommend for birthdays in particular.
For many years I have requested my Grandma's Strawberry Cake, the recipe for which can be found on dearqueenan.com
. Alternatively, I suggest the white sheet cake from Harris Teeter (my favorite Southern supermarket) because the icing is made of sugar and lard just the way God intended. I do accept alternative forms of cake, such as cheesecake and jumbo-cookie cake. Basically anything yummy you can stick a candle in will do!
I tell y'all this, not so I can be showered with Happy Birthday wishes (but if you need to send me a note, I'm at info@dearqueenan.com ), I say this because I'm hearing way too many stories of folks spending their one day of indulgence in some sort of health-conscious bubble telling folks not to send gifts! What the hell is wrong with you people?!
Live it up, cause birthday's come once and year and they taste so darn good!!!
What a load of CRAP!
Everybody knows birthdays are about cake and presents and makin' everybody treat you like a Queen for a day. Obviously I don't have an issue with being a Queen on my birthday, it's the other 364 days I just can't figure out what to do with myself!
Now today is my birthday, I am Justneveryoumind years old, and do you think I was going for a jog at 6 am...Hell no! Now you know I got up late, cause it's my birthday. I ate a big ol' bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich, cause calories don't count on your birthday (any additional pounds discovered the next morning are purely coincidental). I will not be jogging anywhere, cause birthdays are supposed to be torture-free. I will be eating at least one entire cake, again I refer you to the birthday-calorie rule.
As to the type of cake, you know I rarely discriminate when it comes to dessert, but there are few types of cake which I highly recommend for birthdays in particular.
For many years I have requested my Grandma's Strawberry Cake, the recipe for which can be found on dearqueenan.com
. Alternatively, I suggest the white sheet cake from Harris Teeter (my favorite Southern supermarket) because the icing is made of sugar and lard just the way God intended. I do accept alternative forms of cake, such as cheesecake and jumbo-cookie cake. Basically anything yummy you can stick a candle in will do!
I tell y'all this, not so I can be showered with Happy Birthday wishes (but if you need to send me a note, I'm at info@dearqueenan.com ), I say this because I'm hearing way too many stories of folks spending their one day of indulgence in some sort of health-conscious bubble telling folks not to send gifts! What the hell is wrong with you people?!
Live it up, cause birthday's come once and year and they taste so darn good!!!
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