Azalea Fest

Well darlins I am off to the land of my birth for a weekend of relaxation and rednecks. Yup, this weekend North Carolina celebrates the Azalea Festival,an event to showcase the beautiful bushes that line every driveway in the South. I am taking Sweetpotato along to show him what a real parade looks like, none of this Irish-folks-walking-around-in-a-cream-colored-sweater crap they have in New York. Oh no, if we know nothing else, Southerners know how to thrown a parade - beauty queens, mini cars, pooper-scoopers and all.

But the real draw of any outdoor event is the street fair. Down South we don't spend so much time on discount clothing and eyewear, like they do in New York. Instead, we focus on crafts and food. I mean if you've ever wanted a wood carving or a crocheted doily, well look no further. And while your shopping you can visit with the dregs of the tri-county area, who have donned their best Budweiser tee-shirt, thrown their dirty kids in a ramshackle stroller, and come to town for a big ol' weekend of corndogs and cloggers (that's kinda like tap-dancing with an extra jingle for you Yanks).

Anyway, my girlfriends and I spent the better part of yesterday outlining all the food venues we will need to patronize. You see, in the South, food exists in 3 states of matter: solid, liquid and deep fried!! I'm talking funnel cakes, fried Oreos, fried onions, you name it, we have fried it. Wash that all down with a giant glass of sweet tea and you have died and gone to a crispy heaven.

So you won't hear from me tomorrow, as the feeding starts early and I can't get off the schedule, but I'll be sure to let you know how it goes next week...providing I haven't been rushed to the hospital to have my stomach pumped!