Scary Teri

Page Six is speculating that Teri Hatcher came forward with her story of abuse after the "caddish behavior" of a Hollywood hunk, and they're trying to pin it on George Clooney. Obviously a man wrote that column because no self-respecting woman would ever pair abuse admission with being dumped. This is not to say we're defending Teri Hatcher, generally, we hate her. In fact, if George had anything to do with that attention-whore, I will burn all my copies of Ocean's Eleven.

The really unbelieveable part of this whole thing is the idea that George Clooney would ever have a trist with Teri Hatcher! You're talking about a man the entire world knows is a confirmed bachelor, who is not only a talented actor but clearly an intelligent individual (see his 3 Oscar nominations). The last thing he wants to do is get involved with a head case like Teri Hatcher. I mean the woman has a nine-year-old daughter and stood on stage at the Grammy's in her underwear. Besides, I see George as the good food-fine wine kinda guy, and you know Teri hasn't eaten a descent meal since Lois and Clark.

The whole relationship just reeks of publicity stunt, and I'm willing to bet Clooney's rep is killing herself to get the press off of this gossip and back to talking about how he's one of the most talented, down-to-earth forces in Hollywood. Hatcher's rep, on the other hand, is trying to get press at any cost, lest Felicity Huffman win any more awards and make Teri's lack of talent even more obvious. I guess when you're over forty with no appriciable skill, it's either sell sex or get a real job.

I know it's ungentlemanly, but George, could you just stab her in the eye?