My Predictions...

...for the 2006 Academy Awards

Nominee with the Most Questionable Wardrobe Choice: Rachel Weisz (Prego or not, she misses as often as she hits.)

Nominee with the Most Frumpy Hair-Do: Michelle Williams (Why waste a $10,000 gown on a pony tail with fly-away bangs? You are on the Red Carpet, people will be taking your picture so can't you take an hour and get your hair done at an actual salon?)

Nominee Certain To Look Perfect: Charlize Theron (Bitch)

Presenter With the Biggest Ego: Jamie Foxx (Yes we know you played an excellent blind man, and yes we know you think you can sing. But just because you pranced around on stage at the Grammy's like a fool in a marching band does not mean you are some great "triple threat". Get over yourself)

Presenter With Lowest-Cut Gown: Salma Hayek (Have you ever seen her at an event without those things hanging out all over the place? Don't expect to this time either)

Least Qualified Presenter: Keanu Reeves (These are awards for "acting," right? How did he even get invited?)

Presenter Most Likely To Say Something Totally Ridiculous: Will Ferrel (I'm sorry, I don't get. I have tried, but I still can't understand any way that any part of Anchorman was remotely funny. He's an idiot.)


Other things to watch for:

Joan Rivers - are there any original features left on her face?

Jennifer Aniston - will she play sexy, single vixen or sweet, wounded babydoll?

Renee Zellweger - has she eaten in the past 6 months?

J-Lo - can you see her tiny hubby behind her ass?

Joaquin Phoenix - how weird and uncomfortable will he make everyone feel?

**Also, I hear Anna Nicole has started a film career so be on the look-out for trashy bimbo jumping the fence!!