Monday, January 09, 2006

What a Drag!



What did you do this Saturday evening? Watch a little television, order a little take-out, watch a transvestite sing the song your vocal coach told you not to sing because you're not pretty enough?! Well, if you did anything other than attend the world's ugliest drag show, then you just didn't live. Now ya'll know I don't go haulin' my cookies downtown for just anything, but the birthday celebration of one of my nearest and dearest will occasionally motivate me below 14th (this is if I can't get them to just enjoy a pizza on the couch). So, here we are at this restaurant known for their food (meaning it's known you should eat before-hand) and it's waitresses...such as they are. Our server was really quite lovely, but he/she was about the only one. I mean to tell you, all of the men in that room had bigger breasts than I do, displayed in a fashion that would be considered inappropriate for any woman not dancing on a pole. Thank god they had fun cocktails, cause you know I needed a drink after I watched double-drag lap dance performed on some unsuspecting suburbean. Of course I don't actually feel too badly for the guy, because you know those New Jersey-ites drive over the bridge for just such trashy escapades.

Now the problem here, was the little "lady" pictured above (image added as soon as blogger server acts right!). Now, if you want to be a drag queen, and honey you know I don't care if you do, but you do need to adhere to certain rules of engagement. You have heard my discourse on doing your hair up for special events (if not, read on below) and while it didn't apply to men at the time, if you are a man who chooses to dress like a woman, then at least have the sense to put on a little lip stick. I mean, we came to see a drag show, not a small Asian man in a mini skirt with tissue paper stuffed down his sequin halter! It's just wrong on so many levels. I mean this man is someone's grandfather (or at the very least their uncle) and here he is prancing about in fishnet hose, when he should be living in a retirement community. All, I'm saying is, that dressing in drag should have a shelf life, lest you find yourself collecting social security in your stilettos.

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