The Day After
So the presents have been opened, the egg nog has been drunk, "A Christmas Story" has been watched (for 24 straight hours, thank you TBS), and we're left nursing our hangovers, whether cocktail or carbohydrate induced, in a wrapping-paper filled disaster area where the living room once was. Well that's what we're doing at any rate. Of course directly outside my living room window I can see the festively fit folks going in and out of the gym. Assholes. No, seriously, the door is right in my line of sight at this very moment, taunting me with the cookies, chocolates, and cartons of Chinese food the gym seems to know I've just consumed. Alas, Christmas is a time for elastic waistbands if ever there was one. I guess if you're celebrating the blue and silver version of the holiday season, you're just beginning the festivities, so good luck with the overconsumption and look into getting some sweatpants for the long haul.
Now this year was a bit different for me. Sweetpotato and I spent our first Christmas together and not at our homes, hence the Chinese food on Christmas day. Before you start feelin'' all sad for me, it was a lovely, simple day to rest up before the invasion begins. Yes folks, the Royal Family descends upon us this very evening,that is: the Queen Mum, the King Consort, The Perfect Little Princess, and both the Princes of Darkness. I'm often asked how I came to be the Queenan we all know and love from such a lineage...Queenan was born out of necessity and self-preservation. God love 'em, they are a special bunch. So anyway, it was decided that rather than have us go visit them, they would spend the week touring New York City, which is of course, what every New Yorker wants to do on their vacation. There will be no Statue of Liberty, I have put my foot down, for it is one thing to run all over the island taking in the Christmas decorations, but it is entirely another to board a ferry in the freezing drizzle to stare a piece of oxidized bronze you can see better in your 4th grade text book. Oh, stop, I'm not poo-pooing a national monument, I'm just saying I don't need to ride out to see it in December!
Now I'm sharing all this with you because I may not be able to write that often this week, seeing as how I'll be spending my waking hours trying to coax my father on to a subway, and I don't want ya'll to worry. I will, however, update you as often as possible, provided all the family time hasn't turned my brain to complete mush.
Enjoy your week folks, and if you have a sec, say a little prayer for your pal Q.
Now this year was a bit different for me. Sweetpotato and I spent our first Christmas together and not at our homes, hence the Chinese food on Christmas day. Before you start feelin'' all sad for me, it was a lovely, simple day to rest up before the invasion begins. Yes folks, the Royal Family descends upon us this very evening,that is: the Queen Mum, the King Consort, The Perfect Little Princess, and both the Princes of Darkness. I'm often asked how I came to be the Queenan we all know and love from such a lineage...Queenan was born out of necessity and self-preservation. God love 'em, they are a special bunch. So anyway, it was decided that rather than have us go visit them, they would spend the week touring New York City, which is of course, what every New Yorker wants to do on their vacation. There will be no Statue of Liberty, I have put my foot down, for it is one thing to run all over the island taking in the Christmas decorations, but it is entirely another to board a ferry in the freezing drizzle to stare a piece of oxidized bronze you can see better in your 4th grade text book. Oh, stop, I'm not poo-pooing a national monument, I'm just saying I don't need to ride out to see it in December!
Now I'm sharing all this with you because I may not be able to write that often this week, seeing as how I'll be spending my waking hours trying to coax my father on to a subway, and I don't want ya'll to worry. I will, however, update you as often as possible, provided all the family time hasn't turned my brain to complete mush.
Enjoy your week folks, and if you have a sec, say a little prayer for your pal Q.
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