Thursday, November 10, 2005

Enough with the Election

Okay, so you know how I told you the campaigning politicians were driving me crazy with their incessant hand-shaking in front of the subway, blocking traffic, spreading germs, etc? Okay, so then election day comes and there are even more people, now they're just asking if you voted. No, I didn't. I mean how could I possibly choose between the short brunette germ-spreader and the tall blond one? Please, you know I can't be bothered (besides the fact that I'm still pretending I'm not a New Yorker and am therefore unaffected by their ridiculous politics). So, now it's 2 days after the final count, concession speeches have been made, victory parties have been thrown, even the news coverage has moved back to the poor dead girl in Aruba, and yet, the city council people remain. Now they're thanking us for our votes. Listen buddy, you know that even if I had voted, I would not have voted for you because you annoyed the hell out of me every morning for the past six weeks, and here you are, still annoying the hell out of me. You don't even need us to like you anymore so please go away! I would like for once to make it from my apartment to my office building without being pushed, squished, cut off, waved at or spoken to. I realize that may require moving or working from home. Unfortunately, Sweetpotato forbids my presence in our apartment between 9am and 6pm (supposedly he's working during those hours, but he knows a suspicious amount about Regis and Kelly). Moving is not an option because what would I possibly write about if I didn't have New Yorkers to make me disgruntled. Alas, I can only hope the newly elected officials get over their concern for the community and back to helping themselves....I shouldn't be waiting long.

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