Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Fair Weather Vegans

I can appreciate that people have different tastes. I mean some folks like chocolate, some like vanilla, as long as you all like ice cream that's fine. I do not, however, understand these alternative nutrition lifestyles. I mean, if you don't eat meat, what do you do at a barbecue? But, alright, I'm not trying to get the vegetarians all up in arms, if you don't want your pulled-pork you can just put it on my plate, I don't mind. Now vegans, they are another matter altogether, though, again honey you eat or don't eat whatever you want and it's just more steak for me (and you know how I like a good piece of meat).

However, if you are going to have some sort of moral objection to eating cows or chickens or other animal products, I do feel that you should hold firmly to these convictions or just don't bother. This weekend I was out to dinner with some folks, one of whom was what I call a fair-weather vegan. I am quite certain I saw her eating a cream-based pasta and something else made with butter. Looks like her devotion only exists when she's not hungry...kinda like my diet only exsists when there are no Krispy Kreme doughnuts. And while the other people at the table found her skewed consciousness respectable, I was internally smirking at her ridiculous rouse. Between you and me, I found it a all particularly offensive because this girl appeared to be using the veganism as more of a weight-loss tool than a way of life, which of course made my want to stab her in the eye with a dull utensil. Alas decorum and dessert prevented me from paying her any further attention. But all I wanted to say to her was, if you want to create a meal plan in which restaurant dining is difficult, then you need to either stay your ass at home or stop proclaiming your allegiance to a doctrine you can't follow cause you're not fooling me.

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