Campaign tactics

'Tis the season for campaigning, the time for every city council hopeful to stand outside a major subway station shaking the hands of groggy commuters as they try to sneak past without accepting a flier. Now this is all quite ridiculous to me because, while I appreciate that you're getting out there among the people and all, I am undoubtedly late for work and already attempting to avoid the screeching morning paper distributors who are also shoving papers in my face, as if I have room, with handbags and coffee and Metrocards, to grab some poorly-written newsprint. And these smiling politicians stand there in my way, clogging up the Subway entrance, actually touching the hands of complete strangers in New York City. This is not the Wal-Mart in Duluth, folks, there are some 8 million people, carrying all manner of diseases, climbing in and out of these Subways everyday, touching the handrails, and you have just shook hands with about 100,000 of them.
I am in no way a germaphobe, but I have to tell you that there is no circumstance for which I would be caught dead greeting folks on the street first thing in the morning without a tube antibacterial hand gel.
Besides all that, it's not even 9am, I have only had two sips of coffee, I don't want to speak to anyone, and you are bothering me.

I just want to say to these people (if I were capable of speech at that hour)I know you want me to remember your name on election day, and to be sure I will remember it, but there's no way I'm voting for a disease-carrying morning person who accosted me before full caffination. In my opinion you'd have better luck if you put up a poster and stayed your ass at home.