The "Art" of Decorating

I realize that it has become the norm in this country for men and women to live together before they get married, but I can't for the life of me figure out how, after attempting to decorate an apartment together, couples still manage to make it down the aisle! This weekend Sweetpotato and I sat surrounded by furniture catalogs and paint samples and attempted to consolidate our tastes (taste being a subjective quality rarely seen in the Y-chromosome) into one semi-coherent living space. I was initially excited by the idea of the total acquisition of his assets, I mean he has both a couch and a television! I quickly realized that while he may possess a few key pieces of furniture, the majority of his things should have been left in his dorm room many moons ago. I found myself explaining how nothing with a football score qualified as "art," and, yes dear, that includes your blue and gold felt banner listing all the Notre Dame wins since 1924. You did not play football for Notre Dame, you did not even attend Notre Dame, you may not thumb tack their season records on to my wall. And while I'm measuring the space for a kitchen table, he's measuring the wall for a television the size of Vermont, which he assures me is absolutely vital to the state of his being.


I'm not sure how women are supposed to fall in love with people whose entire set of glassware was stolen from a bar. I mean, does your glass of milk really need to say Amstel Light? Regardless, many women will continue to sign up for co-ed cohabitation and find themselves sitting in a living room full of sports posters without room for a single decorative candle, and I just think someone should tell them not to worry about his taste as displayed in his own place, after all you'll be there to help him from now on...and it really is okay if one or two of his boxes get "lost" along the way.